If companies made toasters


If IBM made toasters
.....
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted
for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five,
maybe six toasters.

If Microsoft made toasters
.....
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. 
You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it
anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced
steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take
95% of the space in your kitchen. Microsoft would claim to be the first
toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be.
Toaster'95 would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out 
who made them. Everyone would hate the Microsoft toaster, but nonetheless
would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.

If Apple made toasters
......
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier.

If Cray made toasters
.......
The would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-
slice toaster in the world.

If Hewlett-Packard made toasters
....
They would market the Reverse Toaster, which takes in toast and
gives you regular bread.

If Sony made toasters
......
The Toastman would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is 
meant to toast. It would be conveniently attached to your belt and would 
also be available in a sports version.